I'm writing a novel, what do you think of this short draft?

The street outside was deserted. Alice pressed her face up to the glass and gazed down at abandoned crisp packets that blew forlornly in the wind. From downstairs she could hear the muffled hum of the television, followed by some of her fathers choicest swear words, reserved only for referees.
She visualised him, slouched in front the screen, a blue glow cast over his meaty face. Stains on his shirt, drink tipping in hand.
A bubble of disgust welled up inside her. "One day I'll get out of here" she whispers vehememtly, watching her breath fog up the window.
But when would that be?
Alice had spent her whole life in Dublin and had never known any other world. She had grown up playing on dusty streets and glass covered playgrounds, watching as the few green spaces she had once cherished made way to even more roads, concrete and soon to be dilapidated buildings.
Her friends had grown up into people she hardly knew, their lives dictated by what time the local pub opened and closed. School, although enjoyable had proved useless and college had only deepened her dislike of her fellow human beings.
Now at age twenty, there was simply nothing left for her here anymore.
Alice pulled her self away from the cold window, passing by the sketch of The Eiffel Tower beside her mirror.
"Oh my beloved Paris" she thought as she climbed into bed "One day I'll get to visit you".






Answer :
Well written. Solid introduction. Structured presentation and focused sentences; clear exposition and evocative imagery.